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I'm drowing in a sea of patchouli peppered with guys who look like Larry the Cable Guy. I saw two dudes wearing work boots and jeans at the gym today. I weep. Seeking a male with a pulse. I have learned if I keep my expectations really low, I won't be disappointed. Me? A cute fearless knowitall with a potty mouth and elitist attitude ready to right the wrongs in the world. I lean to the left. I read a lot, plan everything and am a total control freakor a freak with no control. I have a rapist's wit and infinite knowledge of movie lines. Can you guess the movie I just referenced? So if you're an artsy/nerdy/hipster guy with tattoos and a smart ass we should get together for PBR because that's cool cliche. Especially if we can talk about all the cool music we know and bands we've seen and bootlegs we got like way before anyone else even heard the band...did I mention sarcasm? Shoot over an email with correct spelling and proper punctuation. We might be friends. Oh and pics are good, right? Because I'd be lying if I said I wasn't vain. Because I am. Totally. Let's face it...at the end of the day we all want to get carnal lusty with an attractive person. Be my beacon of hope in this sea of douche that I call 'dating' in this barren land.
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